Friday, July 11, 2025

Why is mindfulness impossible in intensive, chronically long working hours for me?


Mindfulness 

- Robotic

- Non-elaborative

- Non-judgemental awareness of sensory, emotional, conceptual content.


- An inherently receptive mode.

Work is sharp focus on incredibly narrow things.


- Integrates mental content into holistic meaning. 


- Mindful being, effortless

Work is not mindful.


- During rest

1. open field of awareness

2. no preference

3. receptive to information from multiple sources simultaneously.


- During action

1. Awareness becomes focalised 

2. focal point fluid and receptive.


Maybe it is not a mindfulness issue. 

Maybe I just do not want to be there. 

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

 Bored rich people, trying to find excitement in controlling and killing people.

Who Fing Cares?

I don't get this popularity thing

https://lihkg.com/thread/3954863/page/1

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Diary:

So, my father passed away.

It has left a huge hole in my heart. 

This is going to take some long time.

My sense of time is slower than reality.

I'm going to start keeping a diary.

Saturday, May 31, 2025

The True Meaning of Danny Boy

 Danny Boy = D**d b**y.

Read the lyrics again.

Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side.
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling,
It's you, it's you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow,
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow,
It's I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow,—
Oh, Danny boy, Oh Danny boy, I love you so!

But when ye come, and all the flowers are dying,
If I am dead, as dead I well may be,
Ye'll come and find the place where I am lying,
And kneel and say an Avé there for me.
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me,
And all my grave will warmer, sweeter be,
For you will bend and tell me that you love me,

And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me! 




Cruise ships should introduce an app that tracks and reminds passengers to get back on the ship ahead of time.

The Shame of taking antidepressants

"Why do I need such medication to control my own mind and thoughts?"

In many Asian cultures, mental health stigma runs deep, often rooted in collectivist values that prioritize family honor, resilience, and self-reliance over individual struggles. As an unemployed 35-year-old man, the shame of taking antidepressants can feel like a crushing weight, layered atop the already heavy burden of societal expectations.

You’re expected to be a pillar—stoic, successful, and in control. Unemployment alone can spark whispers of failure, as family and peers subtly (or not so subtly) judge your worth by your productivity or status. Add antidepressants to the mix, and it’s like admitting to a double defeat: not only are you "failing" economically, but your mind is "broken" too. The act of taking a pill becomes a secret ritual, each dose swallowed with a bitter cocktail of guilt and fear of discovery.
You might hide the bottle from family, dreading their questions or disappointed glances, knowing that in their eyes, mental health issues often equate to weakness or a lack of willpower.
“Just snap out of it,” they might say, or worse, “What will people think?”

The stigma is amplified by cultural narratives that frame mental health treatment as something for the “truly crazy.” Antidepressants aren’t seen as medicine but as a crutch, a sign you couldn’t tough it out. You might internalise this, questioning your own strength, wondering if you’re betraying your heritage by seeking help.
The pharmacy becomes a place of paranoia—will the cashier judge you?
Will someone from the community spot you?
Even supportive friends might not fully understand, their advice tinged with platitudes about meditation or “thinking positive,” as if a pill is a moral failing rather than a lifeline.

This shame can trap you in silence, delaying or avoiding treatment altogether. I avoided treatment for a decade, until I could not delay . Yet, the reality is that antidepressants are a tool, not a verdict on your character. They don’t erase your worth or diminish your struggle—they’re a step toward reclaiming your life. The real shame lies not in taking them but in a culture that punishes vulnerability, forcing you to hide your pain to save face.

Breaking free means recognising that your mental health is as valid as your physical health, even if the world around you isn’t ready to agree. This is the toughest thing, and no one can do it for us.

Sunday, April 27, 2025

ADMs and equivalent supplements solve psychological problems triggered by real-world problems.

 What if a healthy lifestyle was the effect of good mental health and not the cause?


ADMs can be a jumpstart back to a life without psychological pains.

Coupled with problem solving, 3rd wave therapies, or any other set of activities that you enjoy, 

changing environments,

healthy lifestyle, 

it can solve most of your problems, whether or not external things change.


Thursday, March 27, 2025

How to cope with guilt, shame, fear, sadness, remorse for not executing a certain idea before someone else did it and made it commonplace?

As software engineer and entrepreneur, how to cope with guilt, shame, fear, sadness, remorse for not executing a certain idea before someone else did it and made it commonplace?
I lose executive functioning as a result.


Here are some strategies that many entrepreneurs and software engineers have found helpful when grappling with feelings of guilt, shame, regret, or fear over missed opportunities.


1. Practice Self-Compassion

  • Acknowledge Your Humanity: Everyone makes mistakes or misses opportunities. Recognize that you're doing your best in an ever-evolving environment.
  • Reframe Your Inner Dialogue: Instead of harsh self-criticism ("I should have done that sooner!"), try saying, "I did what I could with the information and resources I had at the time."

2. Embrace a Growth Mindset

  • See Setbacks as Learning Opportunities: Every entrepreneur faces failures and missed chances. Focus on what you can learn from the experience.
  • Separate Idea from Execution: In the startup world, having an idea isn’t everything. Execution, timing, and market dynamics are critical. A missed opportunity can be a stepping stone to refining your strategy.

3. Reframe Your Perspective

  • Shift from “What if” to “What now”: Dwelling on missed opportunities can paralyze your executive functioning. Instead, ask yourself what actionable steps you can take today.
  • Prioritize Future Ideas: Focus on the possibilities ahead rather than what could have been. Maintain an idea journal to capture and iterate on new concepts.

4. Implement Structured Routines and Tools

  • Create Small, Manageable Goals: When executive functioning feels compromised, breaking tasks into smaller, achievable steps can help re-establish momentum.
  • Use Planning Tools: Leverage task management apps, calendars, or even physical planners to keep organized. This can help reduce overwhelm and improve executive functioning.
  • Mindfulness Techniques: Practices like meditation or breathing exercises can help calm your mind, making it easier to regain focus and clarity.

5. Seek Professional and Peer Support

  • Talk to a Mental Health Professional: If these feelings severely impact your daily functioning, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through these emotions in a structured and supportive way.
  • Connect with Peers and Mentors: Sometimes talking through your regrets with fellow entrepreneurs can provide perspective, reassurance, and even new ideas on how to move forward.

6. Develop Resilience Strategies

  • Practice Reflection: Journaling your thoughts can be a powerful way to understand your emotions. Reflect on what happened, how you can learn from it, and what you want to do moving forward.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate progress, even if it's not directly related to the missed opportunity. These small victories can boost your confidence and help restore your executive function.

7. Establish a Forward-Focused Mindset

  • Set a New Vision: Identify what excites you about your field and realign your efforts toward new projects or innovations.
  • Continuous Improvement: Regularly review both successes and setbacks. This iterative approach can transform regrets into strategic insights, fueling continuous growth.

Remember:
Every entrepreneur faces moments of self-doubt and missed opportunities. The key is not to let those moments define you but to use them as catalysts for growth and innovation. If these feelings continue to impair your ability to function in daily life, consider professional support to help you navigate these challenges more effectively.

Take it one step at a time. You've built your skills as a software engineer and entrepreneur by learning and adapting over time—and this experience, painful as it may seem now, is part of that valuable journey.

Tuesday, March 25, 2025

Serotonin Playlist


  1. The Beatles - "Hey Jude"
    A slow-building masterpiece with a comforting outro that feels like a warm hug for the soul.
  2. David Bowie - "Heroes"
    Epic and anthemic, perfect for feeling like you can rise above anything, even if just for a day.
  3. Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody"
    A rollercoaster of emotion and musical genius—cathartic and energizing all at once.
  4. OutKast - "Hey Ya!"
    Irresistibly funky and upbeat, it’ll get you moving and shake off the existential dread.
  5. The Rolling Stones - "You Can’t Always Get What You Want"
    A reflective yet hopeful classic that reminds you life’s messy but still worth it.
  6. Fleetwood Mac - "Go Your Own Way"
    Raw, driving energy with a touch of defiance—great for reclaiming your path.
  7. LCD Soundsystem - "All My Friends"
    A bittersweet banger about growing up, losing time, and still finding joy in the chaos.
  8. Simon & Garfunkel - "The Boxer"
    Poignant storytelling with a resilient spirit—ideal for quiet strength.
  9. Tame Impala - "Let It Happen"
    Psychedelic and freeing, it’s about surrendering to the moment and feeling alive.
  10. Frank Ocean - "Pyramids"
    A sprawling, soulful journey—complex enough to match your thoughts, vibey enough to lift you up.

Monday, March 24, 2025

World is sick.

 Why deal with dangerous or untrustworthy people at all?

There is a global decoupling. 

A lot of mistrust because there are very, very different people out there.

CBT.. for the masses?

 Therapy for one person is one thing.

What about therapy for many people?

Thursday, March 20, 2025

What are humans for?

1. Daring.

2. Defying categorisation

3. Pushing the limits of what is possible.

4. Fighting each other.




Wednesday, March 19, 2025

Evolving Efficacy of CBT for Depression: A Hypothesis on the Role of Expectations, Social Dynamics, Economic Hardship, and Nocebo Effects

 


Introduction

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has long been regarded as an effective talking therapy for depression. Nonetheless, critical inquiry remains about whether—and to what extent—the benefits of CBT exceed those attributable to nonspecific or placebo effects. With information now disseminated instantly via social media and mass media, public expectations and personal schemas about what “therapy” should deliver have become potent forces in shaping treatment outcomes. Concurrently, worldwide economic hardships, such as rising rents and the escalating cost of living, compound these effects by adding tangible stressors. This essay hypothesizes that CBT’s effectiveness may erode over time as clients internalize cultural narratives of “failure” and inevitability, thereby generating nocebo or nocebo-like effects that foster negative automatic thoughts, entrenched maladaptive schemas, and ultimately treatment resistance.

Hypothesis: The Erosion of Therapeutic Effectiveness Through Dynamic Social and Economic Feedback Loops

Hypothesis:
Over time, CBT becomes less effective for depression because widespread discourse—amplified by social media, mass media, and peer exchange—leads clients to form rigid expectations and maladaptive schemas about what therapy should achieve. When therapeutic progress falls short of these high expectations, some individuals experience feelings of inadequacy, insignificance, or despair. These negative emotional responses initiate nocebo-like effects that reinforce harmful cognitive patterns, eventually contributing to treatment resistance. Moreover, economic hardships, such as downward trends in income and rising living costs, exacerbate psychological stress and fuel these adverse outcomes. Past negative experiences with various therapies can seed this detrimental cycle, so that, much like Goodhart’s Law (Goodhart, 1975) suggests, the act of targeting therapeutic success ultimately undermines it. This cumulative negative evidence may not be avoidable entirely, but its effects could be mitigated through more innovative, integrated therapeutic approaches.

Mechanisms Underlying the Hypothesis

Expectation, Schema Formation, and Nocebo Effects

CBT’s efficacy lies in its capacity to restructure negative thoughts and maladaptive beliefs. However, when therapy becomes a cultural “gold standard” subject to intense public scrutiny and media representation, the weight of expectation can be problematic. Research on placebo and nocebo phenomena indicates that so much depends on patient expectations. For some individuals, this heightened expectation may transform into a self-fulfilling negative prophecy—if progress is not immediately evident, patients might interpret this as a personal failing, further solidifying negative schemas that hinder therapeutic response.

The Amplifying Influence of Social Media and Peer Networks

The instantaneous nature of today’s digital communication means that individuals’ therapy experiences, positive or negative, are rapidly broadcast and validated across social networks. Such dissemination can create a self-reinforcing cycle, where negative anecdotes and unfounded therapeutic benchmarks become normative. This social reality mirrors Goodhart’s Law: when therapeutic outcomes become a target known to all, the measure of “success” is skewed by societal expectations and self-imposed pressures (Goodhart, 1975).

Economic Hardship as an Exacerbating Factor

Beyond the cognitive mechanisms, economic factors play a critical role. In an era marked by financial instability—characterised by rising rents, inflation, and the increasing cost of living—clients face constant external stressors that contribute to depression (Lorant et al., 2003; Marmot, 2005). These economic adversities not only enhance feelings of hopelessness but also limit clients’ capacity to respond positively to therapy. When combined with the weight of negative expectations, economic hardship can accelerate or intensify nocebo effects, creating a multi-layered barrier to effective treatment.

The Legacy of Negative Therapeutic Experience

A critical factor is the prior history of unsuccessful therapeutic interventions. Clients who have experienced repeated “failures”—whether due to misaligned expectations or suboptimal treatment modalities—are predisposed to approach CBT with a sense of pessimism. Such cumulative negative evidence biases cognitive appraisals and fosters a cycle where each perceived failure reinforces the next (Wampold, 2007).


Implications for Clinical Practice and the Future of Talking Therapies

To counteract the emerging trend of diminished efficacy, there is an urgent need for innovation:

  • Extended and Integrated Support: Therapists should consider offering support that extends beyond the conventional 50-minute session. More immediate and continuous support could prevent the build-up of negative schemas by addressing issues as soon as they arise, rather than waiting weeks between sessions (Kazdin & Blase, 2011).
  • Early and Aggressive Intervention: For clients with significant risk factors—such as economic hardship, chronic health conditions, previous depressive episodes, or comorbid disorders—waiting to escalate to more intensive treatments like anti-depressants might be detrimental. Early intervention combined with lifestyle modifications (targeting sleep, diet, and exercise) is crucial (Cuijpers et al., 2013).
  • Holistic and Social Approaches: A therapeutic model that incorporates the facilitation of social support networks can be transformative. Directly linking clients with matchable social companions or community groups to address loneliness, alongside therapy, can provide the tangible social relationships necessary for sustained mental health improvement (Holt-Lunstad, 2010).
  • Integration of Complementary and Alternative Therapies: Third-wave therapies—focusing on radical acceptance, boundary-setting, adaptive attachment styles, and the unlearning of maladaptive coping strategies—should be integrated into mainstream therapeutic paradigms. Such complementarity may help neutralize the nocebo effects by fostering resilience and adaptive cognitive-behavioral patterns (Hayes, 2016).

Future Research Directions and Next-Step Hypotheses

To further examine and address these complex phenomena, the following next-step hypotheses and studies are proposed:

  1. Extended Digital Support to Mitigate Nocebo Effects
    Hypothesis: Integrating continuous, digital support into standard CBT protocols—via smartphone-based ecological momentary assessment (EMA) and real-time coaching—will mitigate the emergence of negative schemas between sessions.
    Proposal: A randomized controlled trial (RCT) comparing traditional weekly CBT with an enhanced model featuring daily digital check-ins, real-time mood tracking, and immediate interventions when negative patterns emerge. Neuroimaging (fMRI) and EMA data can be synthesized to evaluate dynamic changes in amygdala activation and cognitive appraisals (Creswell, Lindsay, & Moyers, 2017).

  2. Economic Hardship as a Moderator of Therapeutic Efficacy
    Hypothesis: Socioeconomic stressors significantly moderate the efficacy of CBT, such that individuals experiencing higher economic hardship exhibit greater nocebo responses and worse outcomes.
    Proposal: An RCT that stratifies participants based on validated socioeconomic indices—with parallel assessments of CBT outcomes and nocebo response measures. Mixed methods could combine qualitative interviews with quantitative analyses to decipher the interplay between economic stress and cognitive patterns (Cuijpers et al., 2021; Trick et al., 2020).

  3. Integrated Social Support Interventions
    Hypothesis: Embedding structured social support interventions directly within CBT frameworks (e.g., facilitated peer support groups, matching clients with social companions) will enhance treatment response by countering isolation and negative feedback loops.
    Proposal: A comparative study that evaluates standard CBT versus CBT combined with facilitated social support mechanisms. Outcome measures should assess levels of loneliness, social connectedness, and therapeutic progress over time (Hollon, Stewart, & Strunk, 2021; Holt-Lunstad, 2010).

  4. Evaluating the Impact of Complementary and Third-Wave Therapies
    Hypothesis: Incorporating complementary approaches from third-wave therapies—such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), radical acceptance, and adaptive attachment training—will reduce nocebo effects and improve long-term treatment resilience.
    Proposal: Conducting multi-arm RCTs that compare traditional CBT with integrative models that include third-wave techniques, measuring outcomes in symptom reduction, cognitive flexibility, and treatment durability (Hayes, 2016).

Conclusion

This essay challenges the assumption that talking therapies such as CBT uniformly maintain their effectiveness for treating depression. Instead, it posits that the very social dissemination and economic pressures surrounding CBT may catalyze negative expectations and maladaptive schemas, gradually engendering nocebo effects and treatment resistance. Future research should adopt innovative study designs—integrating digital supports, socioeconomic assessments, enhanced social interventions, and third-wave therapeutic elements—to better understand and counteract these adverse feedback loops. Addressing these multifaceted influences will be essential to evolving talking therapies so that they remain effective in our increasingly complex and interconnected global landscape.


References


tCreswell, J. D., Lindsay, E. K., & Moyers, T. B. (2017). How does mindfulness training affect health? A mindfulness stress buffering account. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 26(6), 500–505.

Cuijpers, P., Karyotaki, E., Weitz, E., Andersson, G., Hollon, S. D., & van Straten, A. (2021). The effects of psychotherapies for major depression in adults on remission, recovery, and improvement: A meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 282, 156–164.

Goodhart, C. A. E. (1975). Problems of monetary management: The UK experience. C. Hurst & Co.

Hollon, S. D., Stewart, M. O., & Strunk, D. (2021). The evolution of cognitive-behavioral therapy: Updating the evidence base. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 17, 91–115. 

Hayes, S. C. (2016). Acceptance and commitment therapy, relational frame theory, and the third wave of behavioral and cognitive therapies. Behavior Analysis in Practice, 9(1), 32–58. 

Holt-Lunstad, J. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. 

Lorant, V., Deliège, D., Eaton, W., Robert, A., Philippot, P., & Ansseau, M. (2003). Socioeconomic inequalities in depression: A meta-analysis. American Journal of Epidemiology, 157(2), 98–112. 

Marmot, M. (2005). The status syndrome: How social standing affects our health and longevity. Times Books.

Kazdin, A. E., & Blase, S. L. (2011). Rebooting psychotherapy research and practice to reduce the burden of mental illness. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(1), 21–37. 

Trick, L. J., Farrar, B., & Staudt, A. (2020). Social media and cognitive health: Implications for depression therapy. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 39(8), 674–690. 

Wampold, B. E. (2001). The great psychotherapy debate: Models, methods, and findings. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.

Monday, March 17, 2025

Danger of AI as destroyer of the average, competitor of the above average (meritous but not distinct) and below in any category.

 Then what?


Don't be just above average, be the best in that little category?


That which 

defies categorisation, 

defies centralisation,

or is performance independent, 

remains limited, despite excellent performance. 



It's a cruel cruel world getting crueler, indeed.


Wednesday, March 12, 2025

What is this mental effort thing from a neuroscience standpoint?

 Can someone perform it by trying harder?

Is inclination connected to talent? 

Through conscientiousness, can someone of lower IQ do what someone with higher IQ do? 

Potentially yes, but it's not so much a black-or-white thing, as it is a long-tailed curve..  

Traditional exorcisms is about getting rid of evil spirits.

 Modern CBT challenging negative automatic beliefs.


Conditional Heuristics offer Shortcuts. 

For example, learned helplessness is the result of people removing or limiting your self-efficacy at one point or another. 

Self-attack is not self-attack, but internalised voices attacking you.


How vulnerable are These heuristics to "misinformation effect"? 


For: 

Misinformation effect itself. Therapist offering guidance can become suggestion.

Auto suggestion.


Against: 

So emotionally high impact.



Why fireplaces?

 Asceptic technique!

Tuesday, March 11, 2025

Legal Supplements Better Than Etomidate

 

Hey there! If you’re curious about alternatives to Etomidate, especially if you’re a young person or someone who’s had issues with drugs, you’re in the right place.

While Etomidate is a powerful anesthetic used in medical settings, it’s important to know that there are legal supplements that can help you relax and manage anxiety without the risks associated with Etomidate. Let’s dive into the options!

What is Etomidate?

Etomidate is a strong anesthetic that doctors use to help patients relax and not feel pain during surgeries. It works really fast, but it can also be risky if misused. Recently, it has become a popular street drug in some parts of Asia, which raises concerns about its safety and potential for addiction [1].

Supplements to Consider

Here are some legal and cheap supplements that can help you feel more relaxed and may be better options than Etomidate:

  1. L-Theanine

    • What It Is: An amino acid found in tea.
    • Benefits: Helps promote relaxation without making you sleepy. It’s great for reducing stress and anxiety.
  2. Kava Kava

    • What It Is: A plant-based supplement known for its calming effects.
    • Benefits: Can help you relax and reduce anxiety. However, be cautious with this one, as it can affect your liver if used too much.
  3. Valerian Root

    • What It Is: A herbal remedy often used for sleep issues.
    • Benefits: May help you fall asleep faster and improve sleep quality. It’s a natural way to promote relaxation.
  4. Passionflower

    • What It Is: A flowering plant used for its calming properties.
    • Benefits: Can help reduce anxiety and promote a sense of calm. It’s a good option if you’re feeling stressed.

Why Choose Legal Supplements?

  • Safer Alternatives: These supplements are generally safer than using Etomidate, especially outside of a medical setting.
  • No Legal Issues: Unlike Etomidate, which is illegal to use without a prescription, these supplements are legal and widely available.
  • Natural Options: Many people prefer natural remedies for managing stress and anxiety, and these supplements fit the bill.
  • Risk of Adulteration and Contamination: While legal supplements are generally safer, they are not immune to risks. There can be issues with adulteration, where harmful substances are mixed in, or contamination during manufacturing. This can lead to inconsistent quality, overdosing, or unexpected interactions with other drugs [2][3]. Additionally, the lack of stringent quality control in the supplement industry can result in unsafe manufacturing practices, which may pose health risks to consumers [2].

Don’t Hesitate to Seek Help

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use or considering Etomidate, it’s important to reach out for help. There are many resources available, like counselling and support groups. Remember, asking for help means you are strong!

Wrap-Up

So, if you’re looking for ways to relax and manage anxiety, consider these legal supplements instead of Etomidate. They can help you feel better without risks that come with stronger medications. 

Your health and well-being are what really matter!


Learn more:

  1. Comparison of strength and adulteration between illicit drugs obtained from cryptomarkets versus off‐line - PMC
  2. An Ever-Changing, Increasingly Toxic Drug Supply Makes Harm Reduction Essential - R Street Institute
  3. Adulterants in Drugs: Dangers & Common Adulterants | Greenhouse

Disclaimer

The information provided in this article is for educational purposes only and is not, and is not intended as medical advice or advice of any kind. The legal supplements mentioned are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new supplement, especially if you have pre-existing health conditions or are taking other medications. The safety and efficacy of dietary supplements can vary, and there may be risks associated with their use, including potential adulteration, contamination, and interactions with other substances. The author and publisher of this article are not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences resulting from the reading of or any use of any information or information sources contained herein.